Hair Raising

I must have witnessed the first case of a tree grassing somebody up today when I was at the hairdressers with my fiancé.

Beside his chair was a fiber optic tree, spinning around and being generally annoying. So, for some reason unbeknown to me, he decides to grab one of the branches to stop it spinning. At this point it starts singing Jingle Bells very loudly, and he was caught red handed holding on to this damn branch!

I have to wonder what the manufacturer was thinking when he or she designed a tree that sings jingle bells when you pull its branches. It might just be me, but that seems completely and utterly useless...

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I'm happy to note that there seems to have been a drop in the number of 'Baby Annabelle' adverts this year; in fact I don't think I've seen one at all, which fills me with a warm fuzzy happiness... either that or I've pissed myself.

I hate those adverts that appeal solely to children knowing that any child will then maliciously take the cat hostage until it gets what it wants. Children are spoiled far too much, and should be kept in soundproof glass cases where they can be observed and occasionally electrocuted.

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A friend of mine sent me an SMS today, saying he wasn't sending out Christmas cards this year, instead he's donating the money to charity. Wow... That charity is going to be SO pleased you didn't spent all of two fucking pounds sending a few bloody cards! All hail John, the ender of world fucking hunger.

I mean if he was so desperate to donate money to charity up to the cost of his Christmas cards, he could have just counted up how much he spent on them, and given that to charity, it would have hardly broken the bank!

And to have the cheek to SMS me! Well by my calculations he must have sent that same text to about 35 other people, and at 12p a text on his price plan he spent £4.20. More than enough to buy 35 cheap cards when you can get 20 for £1!

The idiocy of people surprises even a cynical bastard like me sometimes.

Cheers,

Matt